I'm feeling like losing myself...

The first time we step on earth, we were not notified by any one about the difficulties and the challenge we might have to face by the time we seem to start to understand the true meaning of life.
We go through it day by day unexpectedly waiting for "what might comes next".
"Whats gonna be next?" I ask myself the same question over and over again and continuously ending up each day exactly the same way I ended the day before... without future knowledge.
Without knowing what to expect and what to be prepared for...
My path looks longer than it is! I am not even sure anymore if my path was made with an end... Will I reach it?
Why it only seems so much longer whenever I'm invaded by such distressing feeling?
Everything that looks lightened, involves itself in a cloudy black space where in a distant unknown world itself lose every of my dreams, ambitions, projects, feelings...
The sour agony acquired with the life, eroding slow my soul leaving the sensation of an imminent abandon of my body. Feeling me tired I struggle to find my rest in the absence of noise... desiring to find the dreams that believed to be lost, feel the love that I thought finished, find my own.
We can't ever forget who left, but still we have so much memories left to build with the people that still are in mine return, and by that that I try the possible to raise my head and walk on again in search of the light in myself that I was thought extinct in me and that does make me look like I'm lost inside me.