The sound of silence...

Through the dark night many times I take the utility of my eyes and just apply them to my hearing... I hear many strange noises but one of them seems to have my attention most of the time.

A calmly melody coming from the vast breeze of fresh air Similar to the sound of a harpoon, which transmits his feelings through the music that its smoothly set in the wind.

Only hears it who wish to, or who feels deeply hurt and seeks that impossible place to rest in the environment of the nothingness...

How beautiful...

How... Innocent, it can make me forget why was I sitting outside alone for... it looks to amuse the tormented empty space inside me.

So its sweet notes and floods of peace and quiet that I crazily looked for, looks to let me feel cozy and well with myself just by hearing the sound of the silence...

Funny....

At the beginning with you...

We were strangers starting out on our journey
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through
Now here we are and I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me I was going to find you
Unexpected what you did to my heart
When I lost hope you were there to remind me
This is the start

And Life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever
A Wonderful journey

I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming how our dreams would come true
Now here we stand unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
I know that my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

I need to cry...

I need to cry...

The weight of the very tiring life strikes on me again leaving me without strength for me to raise with my own legs.

I kneel in front of my own weakness, desiring an empty space where I can squeak at ease without no one hear me, where I can conceal to my shame that I confront every day by know that the happiness that I feel is basically a false feeling of what I feel in the reality, where I can liberate the contained rage in my inside that I accumulated from situations where I always stood calm.

I find myself isolated from everything and everybody...

Where to neither the nothing reach me.

There are times that silence looks to be so noisy the peace looks impossible...

It looks barely impossible to flee the crowd that surrounds me. I press myself hard but desiring to screw your arms all over me pretending that your arms hold me tight at the moment. As itself never let me leave. But that rage I feel of myself by that...

I just imagine!!

I'd Wish to learn how to close and open it in a completely different world, as yours by example... I feel myself threatened to close my eyes. I live always with the sensation that the dark night will put out my eyes leading me for far from the little light that living with the small hope that remains in me. I Would like that you were here, to scare away my fears.

Every time is necessary for me to cry.

I'm feeling like losing myself...

The first time we step on earth, we were not notified by any one about the difficulties and the challenge we might have to face by the time we seem to start to understand the true meaning of life.
We go through it day by day unexpectedly waiting for "what might comes next".
"Whats gonna be next?" I ask myself the same question over and over again and continuously ending up each day exactly the same way I ended the day before... without future knowledge.
Without knowing what to expect and what to be prepared for...
My path looks longer than it is! I am not even sure anymore if my path was made with an end... Will I reach it?
Why it only seems so much longer whenever I'm invaded by such distressing feeling?
Everything that looks lightened, involves itself in a cloudy black space where in a distant unknown world itself lose every of my dreams, ambitions, projects, feelings...
The sour agony acquired with the life, eroding slow my soul leaving the sensation of an imminent abandon of my body. Feeling me tired I struggle to find my rest in the absence of noise... desiring to find the dreams that believed to be lost, feel the love that I thought finished, find my own.
We can't ever forget who left, but still we have so much memories left to build with the people that still are in mine return, and by that that I try the possible to raise my head and walk on again in search of the light in myself that I was thought extinct in me and that does make me look like I'm lost inside me.

Message of the wind...

"Look at the moon...
Have you seen how bright it is?
Its beautiful, just like you..."
I never thought this moment without you wouldn't look the same.
These brightness we so much praised together along the night armed in each other love, fade in a rapid blink of eyes.
The autumn seems to have arrived earlier.
The leafs traverse the floor of the main entrance giving a sensation of end of a season of spring time that a lot lead with himself. All the sad and happy moments.... gone!!!
A lot I tried... to keep you waiting just until another sun rise, but the time as treacherous and each time was being like running even slower. I still remember the day you left...
The stars slowly start fading one by one, surrounding my heart in the darkness of my threats, as this feeling slowly filled my eyes with tear and my heart of distresses sudden of the moment...
Memories....
Are now an excuse to cry through the night...
Each time I look at the moon again, there you'll be and from somewhere smiling at me reflecting on the moon light and blowing in the wind the speech of your one heart "I miss you"...

Surrounded by no one...

The wind loudly blows outside against the trees who restlessly move from one side to another like they're about to drop.
Snow slowly is pouring down outside my window and densely covering the floor with its white sheet, incapacitating whoever try to see whats under that sheet. How innocent this process looks to be inside a house where I hardly feel my own presence.
After a long time of thinking I decided to take a long walk...
Strange...!
I see many people wearily avoiding the deep cold of this streets but I can not feel what they feel... Why?

I feel like I'm walking without a sense of feeling.
I hear many words but inside my head I'm handicapped to picture whoever mentioning them.
My soul sore by the time, leaves my body unconsciously unstable that looks more like I'm a ghost in a middle of all these people.
No one seems to notice me, hear me, feel me, love me...
Did the world forget about me? who I am...?
That bad I did I?
Be that I will be being punished by an error made?
Why now?
And why this way?
I feel like crying but tear seem to have dry in my eyes thanks to so much distresses lived.
Reality looks lot different, dreams seems to hurt whenever I wake up...
Am I alone this in this world vastly inhabited?
My path is still unfinished... Will I return to a normal life where happiness reside?
I feel so lonely... like I'm surrounded by no one!
Where I do wish to see, hear, feel, talk and love someone but its what I seem to be doing less...

I get hurt whenever I love...

Many people say “love is pain” but most of them do not understand why this rumour about love spreads out like love is a horrific feeling that hurts whenever we feel it. Such as whenever we’re injury.

No…

Is actually a way of saying that being loved and love someone feels good until its finish, cause when it does leaves us the sensation that we could have done so much more for that one we loved. Leaves us the feeling that time was never enough to show our partner how we really felt not just about her but about us. Leaves us with the feeling that so many words were said but none of them made enough sense to let it clear how much “I love you”.

Its sounds strange but this are the kind of questions and answer that comes up with our tears.

We always thought we’re so strong, untouchable or all the time ready for any type of pain that might come between us.

But the truth is that love seems to try to prove that we’re wrong all along by destroying us dreams, memories and lives.

We anger so much for death like it’s the only thing that could free us from this heartless world where it seems to bring only disgusts in our lives. We wish to see no one or nothing apart from the one who left.

We miss so many things… we wish to live memories that we never realised that it made us so happy at the time and now helps us with painful tears.

We look so unsure that we do not know if our wish is to love again or just leave things as it is…

“I loved someone and because I loved that person so much I let her live her life without suffering the same way I suffer. But that was a mistake. Today I fear to love anyone the same way I loved once, but I know for fact that life will ask me to move on and get through all this and I will. I don’t know when and I do not know why I fear love so much…

Maybe its because I get hurt whenever I love… No one can tell and not even feel what I feel or felt…”