I guess that's just life...

By the time we move on and on with life, we learn something each day, but....

What have I learnt so far?

It seems to be a hard question to find an answer to my own doubt... but sometimes I get the feeling that I'm learning how is it feel to feel meaningless in a middle of the crowd and always have the same feeling.
Constantly...
Will I ever be free from this?
I seem to be the person who most complain about life, but also the one who does not regret any single moment lived.
I sure have passed wonderful times that anyone wished to be through. But instead of happiness I possessed this strange anger, which I carry for a long time but never understanding it's purpose within me...
I do not know who to hate, I do not know who to be mad at, I do not know who to blame!!
But why search for witnesses or guilties, when the one who I should blame is myself?
I heard from a friend that "Fate" is sketched by the decisions that we take...
Is it my fault that my life is having problems to find happiness?
Did I take the wrong turn for a chance?
Did my decisions lead to such a winding life? How can I change it??
I wish I could be next to those who I really love... and I guess there I wouldn't need to fake a smile, avoind certain conversations subjects or even hide feelings...
Crazily I look for arms to hold me without no sorrow for that I can rest to my mind stunned, where can I rest the my tear of pain without that the remainder world see...
Some one like an angel, some who make me feel in some where, somehow "new"!!

Just with a simple hug... but I guess its impossible...
I guess that's just life unfortunantely...